Jennifer Felderman

The girls, August 2019

The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you,

not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers doesn’t finally meet somewhere.

They’re in each other all along.

-Rumi

Chris and I met on July 1, 2011. That winter was a whirlwind of love, we were inseparable and carefree. On January 31, 2012, Chris proposed at Greeley School with my second grade students. At work was the only place he could catch me off guard, and he knew it. It was perfection. We were married on July 1, 2012, one year from the day we met.

There has never been a more enthusiastic pregnant woman than me. I purchased every book, painstakingly monitored my nutrition, and eliminated EVERY little thing that might harm my children. I was a mother from the second these sweet girls were conceived, and nothing was more important. Being pregnant with identical twins, my pregnancy was always high risk. Mo/di twins share a placenta, and this puts them at extra risk for pregnancy related complications.

I loved being pregnant and I relished every kick and hiccup. And I have videos of most of them! My babies were lovingly named Baby A and Baby B. This was because we did not learn the gender, it was a surprise. (A surprise that took a lot of effort with biweekly appointments and ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy, but very worth it at delivery!)

My girls were a combined 12 lbs at birth, so I lost mobility. A mo/di pregnancy is not allowed to go past 37 weeks (because the overused placenta can breakdown very quickly at any point after this time) so I was induced and delivered via c-section at 37/0, full term.

My twins, Reese and Quinn were born on April 10, 2014. I had incredible complications that almost took my life. My girls did not, they were perfect.

When we bought our place in the city, I promised my husband that we would be there for a few years. “I mean, at least until we have TWO children.” Well, twins. When they were 6 months old we did the move to the suburbs, to Winnetka. This was an obvious choice for me, I had been a part of the community since ’03 and I knew it was beyond compare.

My sweet girls thrived and hit all milestones on time. Reese walked clear across the room at 10 months old, she was always a little overachiever. The bond these twins have is incredible, their every move compliments the other. A friend put it best, after having met my tiny girls. “Seeing them makes me feel sorry for every child born a singleton.” They are so blessed and so am I. I did not work outside the home from the moment my children were born, so I had the privilege of being a part of every second. And I never took it for granted, it is my greatest gift.

We added Claire to our family on April 25, 2016. We knew we wanted them two years apart, and we had decent math, because she actually had the same due date as the twins! Claire was a joy from the moment she was born, “My dessert” as my pediatrician said. Our family was complete, and I was happy. Truly happy. My three-under-three kept me busy and challenged, and my house was full of joy and giggles and diapers.

I can’t say that December 11, 2017 caught me completely off guard. Reese was a healthy baby and a healthy toddler. We had the most incredible summer before she was diagnosed, full of energy and late nights, my girls didn’t even have a sniffle. But then preschool started and I can tell you that she was not a healthy preschooler. I saw something coming about three months before we were hit. A mom knows when something isn’t right.

I am a woman who is blessed with the greatest team. My family, my community, my God. My parents are my rock, they are the role models I will strive to be my whole life. The reason my family was able to move to SF, to find a cure. My community, that has supported us through this journey every step of the way. My God, who walks beside me, I am never alone. I know this trifecta gives me strength and power, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the love that has been surrounding me my whole life.

Someone asked me why I blog about Reese. I started the week she was diagnosed, when I was in the incredible fog of complete devastation. I was humbled to the point of desperation, on my knees, begging, pleading. Please let me keep my little girl. I blog because I want the world to know her. I want them to know who she is, that she is important, that she belongs here. I thought, if enough people know Reese, pray for Reese, she will get to stay. God will hear, and she will stay.

Follow us on Instagram:

@defeatingchildhoodcancer

https://www.instagram.com/defeatingchildhoodcancer

Subscribe Now:

The emails can end up in your spam, so you will need to check there after you join!