5/27/19, inpatient

Last week, Reese went inpatient at Lurie to have five procedures: she had her central line removed, a new port catheter placed, an upper GI scope, a lower GI scope, and a bone marrow aspiration. I haven’t been able to decide how much detail to go into about how awful those two days were. I think I’ll just say that it was like living a brief flashback from last summer. For both of us.

As you know, Reese suffered from the most severe gvhd of her lower gut. Our doctors at UCSF never scoped her, but they were, of course, always curious about what they would find. Her damage was the greatest possible. After Reese’s surgery, we received preliminary results from her scope. When the GI doc walked in I braced myself. He had a stack of papers and I have seen this before, from other scans. I waited to hear all of the vocabulary that I wouldn’t understand (but would later google) and my eyes were fixed on the paperwork that would soon be mine to try to digest. My eyes raced to the summary.

SUMMARY: normal

A word that has taken on the most glorious meaning in my little world. I stared, I questioned, I stared some more. Normal. My daughter is healed? This miracle happened before my eyes, I watched her heal so slowly it seemed sometimes that I would never see this day and now we are here. Hallelujia!

There is more to this story. Biopsies were taken and results will be in later this week. A summary of normal is the most amazing start!! There was also a curious finding from her upper scope, something that was seen on her esophagus. This is an area that is not injured and she does not have any symptoms of injury, so we will wait to hear an explanation from those biopsies, too.

This isn’t about me, but I can tell you, this made me even more thankful for the path to health that Reese is on. If I didn’t make it clear before, I thank God for every moment of normal that my little family is blessed with. I choose this perspective because I am lucky enough to have the choice. I am living the most incredible life with my family in the same place but nothing is the same. I am SO SORRY for the road that got me here, but I am SO THANKFUL for the perspective that is mine.
When you look at a field of dandelions, you can either see a hundred weeds, or a thousand wishes. We are wishers. Thank God.

Pictured: Reese, “toobie free.” As she would say, “Now I’m just Reesie again.”

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